Learning Love - Donnell Shawn
“He’s the one. He’s really the one.”
For a girl, this hidden statement reveals a fragile lady weakening herself. She had gone through a rollercoaster of emotions by asking herself: “Is he single?”, “Will he love me back?”, and “Should I tell him?”. She was tortured. Each day she would pray to see him, even for a minute. Each night she would wish for courage because she is too weak: she deteriorates every day due to her constant battle between her mind and her heart.
Her mind:
“No, he is nothing more than a friend. We are nothing more than we are now, and we will never be more in the future. Stop. Just stop. He is not worth getting hurt over. If he saw my pain, he would want me to stop. My happiness is more important.”
Her heart:
“He is worth getting hurt over. He is the world to me, and someday I will be the world to him. I am not lying to myself, nor am I in denial. I am in love. My happiness is his smile, his laughter, and his presence. My happiness is the hope that he will fall for me as hard as I fell for him.”
This girl is willing to do so much just to have him. She pushed her friends away; she ignored their advices. She was hurting herself; she chose her heart over her mind despite knowing the consequences. She chose to love.
When a girl says the statement: “He’s the one. He’s really the one.”, she really means it.
Obsession vs. Love
Symptoms of obsession:
- If all of your time and effort goes to satisfying the needs of another
- If one person is always trying to please the other person
- Unrealistic fantasies about a relationship with a love interest
- The need to be in constant contact with a love interest via phone, email or in person
- Overwhelming feelings of depression (feeling “empty” inside).
- A sudden loss of self-esteem
——
“Real love is nurturing and helps people grow but obsession is debilitating and takes away from the psyche of the person caught up in it. If you feel like you have lost yourself, if you are always striving to please your loved one without him/her doing the same for you, and if you find yourself making all your decisions in your life based on the feelings and needs of the other person you are obsessed and not in real love.”
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