I’ve known you for a long time and I realized that I had learned to not believe everything you say to me unless I see or hear the same information on my own. I don’t understand why you can’t say “I don’t know” when you’re unsure of something rather than confidently giving me false information. You need to wake up and recognize that you can be wrong, and that you can be infuriatingly stubborn whenever I challenge you about your behavior. As a friend, I try to notify you about your flaws but, if you’re persistently reluctant, then don’t expect me to tolerate your company.
Today, I told you something I meant from the heart, and you bluntly said that my goal was already a fail after you laughed at me. I’m not going to lie when I say that it hurt me a lot, and I lost my confidence and motivation to pursue my future plan. Yet, you didn’t apologize. I don’t understand why you can’t say “I’m sorry” when you knowingly hurt my feelings. I realized that today will be the last circumstance in which I’d be your silent punching bag because I seriously don’t need a friend who continuously and willingly value pride over consideration.
My only advice to you is to say “I’m sorry” to yourself in front of a mirror. Say it again like you mean it. Say it until you can finally swallow your pride because, if you can’t give a simple apology, you can easily lose me as a friend. You honestly need practice. Show me — show everyone — some damn respect.
My friends and I talked about couples being insanely jealous whenever their significant other was hanging out with a single friend. We mentioned that long term couples, such as our parents, rarely feel discomfort when separated because, since they have been together for so many years, they have become used to the idea of temporary detachment. I believe every couple should realize that they seriously need to relax and let their significant other enjoy his or her friendships without worrying about irrational jealousy. Every couple needs to understand that the feeling of uneasiness is nothing more than a phase among short term couples — that waiting a few more years will naturally cure their anxiety feelings. Personally, I would hate for my friends to constantly hesitate their behaviors toward me in fear of aggravating my boyfriend.
I want my first impressions to become lasting impressions. I want to talk to new people without having to hide the parts of me that I believe are unlikable. I want people to think that I’m ideal rather than imperfect. I want to stop pretending to be someone I’m not; I want to stop wishing to be someone I’m not. I want to stop being afraid of being myself just because I constantly feel like I’m too inferior to be the type of person that everyone will like.
…and finally it happened.
You waited for the right opportunity to break our friendship because you cannot tolerate my orientation. And, during the wait, you allowed me to believe that your views toward me can be altered into a form of mutual bonding and forgiveness — a pitiful, yet renewed, friendship. As your friend, I had given you my trust when I accepted your apology and your decision to look past the past; and, as my friend, you had led me into your false conception of an ideal friend. You waited two years, and it finally happened. Congratulations, you win.
People fail to understand the underlying meaning of sadness. An unfortunate grade after studying for days, a break in a relationship that was thought to last for years, an incessant false belief in one’s inabilities, a temporary life crisis exaggerated into emotion-focus coping — these are not real sadness. Real sadness is staying up every night haunted by an illness that will never cease. Real sadness develops a disturbing mind filled with harrowing thoughts that control the will to continue a cursed life. Real sadness is a disease; it is depression.